Arrival

Flying into the Salt Lake Valley is always an inspiring experience for me. Lately, I have become less inclined to look out the window during flight due to the typical monotony and blandness of the topography on most flights. Seeing the Wasatch jetting out from the expanse that was once the bed of Lake Bonneville is always a window-worthy event.

The peaks that I have scaled in the past stand firm with their majestic profiles watching over the residents below. Lone Peak, Twin Peak, and Mount Olympus make the eastern skyline of Salt Lake City a memorable one.

This year's snowboarding expedition saw slope appearances by Clay, Cam, Keith, Gary, Camille, and Richie. The weather was perfect, which made up for a bit less snow than we would have hoped, so all things considered the conditions were good.

Of course, no trip home would be complete without a rendezvous will all of my friends from Murray High School. Tom & Ratty organized a gathering a The Point After to watch some UFC action and catch up on lost time. It was great to see everyone, especially those I have only recently re-connected with.

February 1st: Snowbird

A 9:00am meeting at Mom's got us started on Super Bowl Sunday. After some breakfast tacos and coffee, we loaded up the Durango and headed up Little Cottonwood Canyon. For years, I have boasted about the proximity of Salt Lake to the ski resorts and that my Mom's place is only 20 minutes from Snowbird. Even with Keith being late, we still made it on the lifts by 10am. Thanks to Camille, we were able to hook up some extremely discounted passes and the day began perfectly.

Mineral Basin was tracked up and made for some choppy runs, but we still made a good day of it. Most of the day was spent between Peruvian and Mineral Basin with one trip up the tram and a few runs beneath Gadzoom.

I wouldn't be doing the picture above justice if I didn't mention that Keith completely ate it about 2 seconds after this photo was snapped. Trying to strike a pose, he lost his balance and fell over onto the concrete surrounding the conveyor belt that was taking us through the tunnel to Mineral Basin. Of course, standing back up in a situation like this is nearly impossible. Whether it was the tired quads or hysterical laughter, Keith couldn't seem to make it back onto his feet. After narrowly escaping a certain ankle injury to either Keith or myself, he threw down a reverse ninja roll and hopped back onto the conveyor belt. It will be impossible to ever ride through that tunnel again without a chuckle.

February 2nd: Powder Mountain

Of all of the times I have been on the slopes in Utah, There are still a few resorts I have never ascended: Snow Basin, Wolf Creek, Sundance, and Brian Head remain on the list but Powder Mountain is now a patch I can rightfully sew onto my backpack.

Richie was our guide as we sped around the mountain in perfect conditions. Despite the lack of recent snow, the resort's name is definitely not a misnomer. We were able to skiff through more of the gnar at PM than any other day of the trip.

Since a helicopter crashed earlier that morning, I recommended to Keith that we re-think our heli-boarding plans. The sno-cats seemed a much better idea, and at $12 a run you can't beat it. The power was phenomenal and well worth the wait to get on the cat.

Over a foot of lightly tracked powder was waiting to meet us on the north facing slope where the cat dropped us off. Powder was found, and it was good. After a good day on the slopes, it was off to Richie's for some home brew. We stopped at Carlos & Harley's on the way out for some grub and to check out the local Eden speakeasy.

February 3rd: The Canyons

By the third day on the slopes, I was in shock that my legs were still holding up. We leisurely made our way out of the NewPark Resort hotel and made our way over the The Canyons - largest ski field in Utah. We were once again hindered by the lack of fresh snow, but were able to ski probably the most miles of any of the days on the slopes. With just Cam, Clay, and I and no lift lines we were able to make some pretty good tracks around the mountain.

Once again, we were able to hook up some sweet ticket deals, paying less than $50 a person. Due to the prevalence of flat areas at the Canyons, I became quite proficient at using one of Clay's ski poles to keep up my speed.

Final Thoughts

Luckily I have an awesome wife that lets me dedicate a few days to snowboarding while she holds down the fort at home. As infrequently as I get to hit the slopes these days, it is very important for me to not lose touch entirely with the experience of snowboarding. I do so love her for many reasons, and this is just another one.

Additionally, I am fortunate to be on the brink of a brand new era of snowsports as the kids are now getting old enough to enjoy the mountains and learn to ski. Jackson and Emily are already excited about learning to ski - hopefully this Christmas!

Also, I am extremely lucky to have such a great Mom that took care of us from arrival to departure. A guy couldn't hope for a better Mom, and I am so grateful for everything she did for us this trip, and for everything she has always done for me.

I am certain that this will be just the first in a number of boarding excursions, you in on the next one???

See a full album of pictures (with geo-location) here:

http://picasaweb.google.com/grant.coburn/Yewtaah?authkey=colyY_K_Vpc&feat=directlink#

NINJA HAULER: 2005 Nissan Xterra - $12900

OK, let me start off by saying this Xterra is only available for purchase by the manliest of men (or women). My friend, if it was possible for a vehicle to sprout chest hair and a five o'clock shadow, this Nissan would look like Tom Selleck. It is just that manly.

It was never intended to drive to the mall so you can pick up that adorable shirt at Abercrombie & Fitch that you had your eye on. It wasn't meant to transport you to yoga class or Linens & Things. No, that's what your Prius is for. If that's the kind of car you're looking for, then just do us all a favor and stop reading right now. I mean it. Just stop.

This car was engineered by 3rd degree ninja super-warriors in the highest mountains of Japan to serve the needs of the man that cheats death on a daily basis. They didn't even consider superfluous nancy boy amenities like navigation systems (real men don't get lost), heated leather seats (a real man doesn't let anything warm his butt), or On Star (real men don't even know what the hell On Star is).

No, this brute comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super action junkies need. It has a 265 HP engine to outrun the cops. It's got special blood/gore resistant upholstery. It even has a first-aid kit in the back. You know what the first aid kit has in it? A pint of whiskey, a stitch-your-own-wound kit and a hunk of leather to bite down on when you're operating on yourself. The Xterra also has an automatic transmission so if you're being chased by Libyan terrorists, you'll still be able to shoot your machine gun out the window and drive at the same time. It's saved my bacon more than once.

It has room for you and the four hotties you picked up on the way to the gym to blast your pecs and hammer your glutes. There's atow hitch to pull your 50 caliber anti-Taliban, self cooling machine gun. I also just put in a new windshield to replace the one that got shot out by The Man.

My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low $12,900, but I'll entertain reasonable offers. And by reasonable, I mean don't walk up and tell me you'll give me $5,000 for it. That's liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab. Would it hurt? Hell yeah. Let's just say you won't be the prettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore.

There's only 69,000 miles on this four-wheeled hellcat from Planet Kickass. Trust me, it will outlive you and the offspring that will carry your name. It will live on as a monument to your machismo.
Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see. If it's a rugged, no holds barred, super brute he-man macho Chuck Norris stunt double, then contact me. I might be out hang-gliding or BASE jumping or just chilling with my ladies, but I'll get back to you. And when I do, we'll talk about a price over a nice glass of Schmidt while we listen to Johnny Cash.

To sweeten the deal a little, I'm throwing in this pair of MC Hammer pants for the man with rippling quads that can't fit into regular pants. Yeah, you heard me. FREE MC Hammer pants.
Rock on.